I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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