So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize