I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
