I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we're so committed to being not committed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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