it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think i have herpe
just one?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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