Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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