did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
