We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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