so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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