He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
