ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
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you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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