My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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