I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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