God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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