why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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