we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The ass gains better be worth it
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
