i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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