Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found puke in my bra..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
