singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
