Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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