just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
