Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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