I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
