I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
