just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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