I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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