don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
