Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
