Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
