Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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