I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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