C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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