In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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