So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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