Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
