In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize