Where did you get a picture of my penis
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
