You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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