can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
