You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
