Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
