i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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