You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize