My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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