Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
