'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My feet surprised me
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