Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
