Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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