my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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