Just cropdusted the office
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
