jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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