I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
