This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
