I'm going to jail i love you
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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