The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
