i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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