I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
