shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
