Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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