One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
