could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is her dick bigger than yours?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
