You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
